Significance is the feeling of being important in someone’s life or in a situation. That you matter. Do you feel significant in your life?
How many times have you been in a situation where, whatever it was, made you feel insignificant? With a partner, your job, with friends? This is quite common. What you find insignificant may be very significant to another.
I’m reminded of a former relationship I had with someone where it was all about them. They had an agenda which was only advantageous to them. All other needs were put on the back burner. If they could use you for something, then you were significant to them, if not, you weren’t! People who behave this way generally do not realize there is even a problem or that they are doing anything wrong. A lot of times it’s an unconscious behaviour that was a negative learnt behaviour from childhood or from mentors growing up and it unfortunately created this behaviour.
An example of that was as simple as everyday appointments. If there was an appointment for a specific thing and it didn’t fit into their schedule, then everyone was late every time. It just wasn’t important to them, therefore it caused friction with every one that was involved. This can be a bit controlling and manipulative.
Another example would be around money. If they wanted an item, they bought it on impulse most of the time, if someone else needed it, well, it just wasn’t that important and again this caused a lot of friction. You can imagine living for years like that where your opinion doesn’t really matter in decisions.
These types of people try to control most things that are going on in your life. This not normal behaviour and should send out red flags for you.
As you can well imagine, these common examples can put a lot of strain on a relationship. Maybe you have experienced them before at your job, with your partner, or with friends. It’s what I call the “all about me” syndrome.
How do people display significance to you in your life? There are many ways it can be positively displayed to another.
- Have respect for the person (this is extremely important)
- Listening with a keen interest to someone
- Make people feel important, that you care
- Greet people by name
- Call them, just to see how they are doing for no reason
- Acknowledgement of the person or deed
- Get someone a gift for no reason (this shows that you are thinking about them)
- Acknowledge milestones in people’s lives
These are some positive ways you can make people feel significant in your everyday travels. You get what you give. It’s the law of attraction. Please remember that everyday.
Until next time… If you would like to discuss how to improve your realationships, reach out to me at danagsmithconsulting@gmail.com.