How many times have you heard, “if you don’t like it, change it?” Probably a thousand times. This is harder said than done. We typically complain about something more than trying to change it. Why is that? Are we just natural complainers? Do we feel that it’s out of our control? Are we entitled?

Our belief system has taught us that change is a negative thing. It has been ingrained into us at a very young age through role models and mentors. You are the only one that has the power to change your situation as you have no control over what others do. I prefer to look at change this way:

If you don’t like it, change it. If you can’t change it, change your mindset.


Maybe you don’t want to change anything. But if you do, how do you do that? We all have things in our lives that we would like to change for the better. The first thing is to figure out what that is. You can’t change something if you don’t know what you want or what your end goal is. This needs to be a very clear vision. Writing it down helps a lot. It’s basically a plan. This can be done with any aspect of your life.

Many people want to lose weight, eat healthier, exercise more, be more social, change partners, make a new start in life, make new friends, make more money, have more freedom, or change thier job or career.

For example: If you wanted to lose weight, usually you will start with a planned exercise regime along with a personal trainer. Having a personal trainer helps you to get expert advice and a plan to accomplish the goal you want. They also hold you accountable for achieving your goal. A relationship coach is much the same thing. They offer expert advice, help to understand what the goal is, peel back the layers to clarify what it is specifically you want to accomplish, develop a plan to get you to where you want to go, and hold you accountable for your plan.


Here are 4 questions to ask yourself when wanting change:

  • What do you want to change, specifically?
  • When do you want this change to happen?
  • Who is involved in the change?
  • How are you going to make the change happen?

Writing down and answering these simple questions will give you a plan on how to get where you want to go in the time frame you want. These can be used on something as simple as what your going to do this weekend or a complex issue of a relationship breakup. But remember, it all starts with you and the decision to make that change in your life.

Until next time,

If you would like to book an appointment to discuss making a change, contact me at